So you decide to buy a Goverment Motors vehicle ... "Doh!"

Hey - want to take a chance?

Looking for a real bargain?

How 'bout ol' Bean offers you a truck deal you can't refuse? How 'bout you run right down to your (for now) local GM dealer and get in on a steal of a deal. Hey - how can you go wrong if you're buying a vehicle from none other than the United States Government?

You know, the people in Washington who can't find their ass with both hands? Hey - take advantage of the situation before the next election. They'll never find you if you do it right - but there are some things you might want to check into when you walk into a GM dealer.

First, when was the last time you bought anything from the United States Government?

Chances are if you're the average consumer looking for a vehicle you've never bought anything from Uncle Sam. There are good reasons for this. Uncle Sam isn't accustomed to being paid based on what something is really worth. In fact, Uncle Sam will take $5.00 dollars one day and $5,000.00 the next for the very same thing. It all depends on - well, no one really knows what it depends on.

So when you walk in to what used to be a General Motors dealership and want one of the cars on the lot that seems to be what you're looking for, you're going to be faced with some things that no other car buyer in the history of United States commerce has had to deal with.

First, you used to be able to rely on the warranty terms and conditions that were specified in the proposed sales agreement. Well, sorry, those might not really apply because the government may not even have to honor contracts that they didn't offer you. See, there's this really creative gibberish that will eventually override your purchase contract because the United States is about to become the majority stockholder in General Motors and will, of course, control the Board of Directors and guess what - you can't sue the United States without their permission. Wanna gamble on who loses in that game?

And let's not forget how the innumerable state "lemon law" statutes will soon become meaningless. After all, a federally-owned company cannot be subject to state laws.

I hate to say it, but current GM dealers should kiss the marque goodbye. Anyone who spends a dime on advertising the sale of Government Motors vehicles is tossing good money after bad. Not to mention anyone who accepts a dime of advertising - which means the next step from the administration will be to subsidize advertising of their brand so the media keeps the scam going.

The Honorable Judge Roy Bean