News Flash!

JRB Newswire
4.1.2008
Washington, D.C.

In response to the deepening problems of the investment banking industry, the nation’s top economic thinkers issued a formal set of proposed “Economic Recovery, Realignment and Operating Rule Standards,” promulgated by the President’s recent series of “International Debt, Interest and Optimized Trade Summits.”

Secretary Paulsen, who sent key staff members to the hastily-gathered meetings of major investment bank leaders and market experts, was quick to praise the results, saying, “The ERRORS will send a message to the financial community around the world that this country is stronger than the press would have everyone believe.”

He added that there will be another series of IDIOTS “…sometime in January of 2009.”