Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Dumbest Squaliforme of the Month Award

This Court has come across what has to be the dumbest Squaliforme legal case in history.

A Bear Stearns subsidiary, EMC Mortgage, of Irving, Texas (on the other side of the Pecos, thank you), has been dragging one Robert John Wright through various courts up yonder in Dallas for EIGHT YEARS. The source posting on a web site for Elliot Spitzer (don’t ask why – it’s politics) says 3,000 days. A quick look around elsewhere tells me at least part of this case went all the way up to the US Supreme Court (and they weren’t interested) but that was with Bank of America a few years back. Even a quick read and I'm pretty damn sure they're connected.

Now, I’m not sure about what the average property up there is worth, but let’s say Mr. Wright’s house is above the national average and is worth a quarter-million.

EIGHT YEARS of litigation and they still haven’t won? To go after a property for EIGHT YEARS that MIGHT get them a house worth a quarter-million if they do win?

According to the post, Wright’s apparently penniless now so they’re not going to get their attorney fees or costs even if they win. (I’ll bet a good bottle of whiskey and a box of 12Ga. Shells they’re not accepting his payments even if he could make them.)

Now, I know up there they pay barristers pretty damn well (it’s always big $ in Big D), so simple math says EIGHT YEARS of litigation they’re into it well over a half-million just in lawyers and they’re not taking in anything from him. If Wright’s still actually in the house this story could be scripted as “The Three Stooges Play Lawyer.”

Sure ‘nuff, this EMC Squaliforme is the same outfit that’ll be paying $6 MILLION+interest to a Missouri couple (the now-infamous Starks case) and then they got their hands slapped with a $10K censure from a bankruptcy Judge just a few months ago.

Given their parent company’s historically dismal ethical performance and massive financial penalties, this Court can only assume they sent the guys responsible that weren’t already jailed for their previous dimwitted scams down to do pennance in the wastelands of Irving.

Either they haven’t got a case against him and just don’t want to admit it, or they’ve got something to hide, or they’re still dumber than a box of rocks. Probably all three.

If Wright can get his case moved to this side of the Pecos, we’ll have this thing wrapped up in under an hour. Save everybody a lot of time and money. Knowing who they are and what they do, EMC best bring cash, and lots of it. We don't accept checks from Squaliformes.

The Honorable Judge Roy Bean.

[(Note from the clerk of the Court: His Honor didn’t mention it but he doesn’t hang people for stupidity very often. Attempts to correct the condition are made utilizing the cattle prod.)]

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